Unbelievable

I hadn't planned on posting 4 days in a row but I am on a roll! The saga with the doctor's note continues. I got home today and had a message from my doctor's office. The nurse said she really needed to talk to me. Of course I call right away, hoping my note is done. The conversation I ended up having blew my mind.

Me: Hi, this is Kelli, returning your message.

Nurse: Oh yes, I have an important message from Dr. P about your letter for becoming a surrogate.

Me: Excuse me, a WHAT?

Nurse: Well, I have a note hand written from Dr. P right here. After researching Type I Von Willebrand's, Dr P says surrogacy is not recommended and you should seek advice from your hematologist.

To myself: Oh good, he had to research my disorder after treating it for 6 years. Wait, back to the point- to the nurse: no, you don't understand. I do not want to be a surrogate. I want to adopt a baby from Vietnam, not carry a child for someone else.

Nurse: You want to adopt? I guess I didn't realize that. Not sure where I got surrogate from.

Me: I'm not sure either, I definitely want to adopt. I just need a letter stating the bleeding disorder is under his care- he wrote my last prescription for the meds- and that it won't affect my ability to ADOPT and care for a child.

Nurse: Well, I will put this back on his desk to look over. That should make a big difference!

Ya think? I asked her (as nicely as I could) to please talk to him and see if there is a possibility of getting the letter by the end of this week. I won't keep my fingers crossed.

It will come back to haunt you!

So here I sit, on Halloween eve, thinking about all of the things that have been haunting me. First it was the dreaded fingerprinting fiasco. Now, that well-thought-out doctor's note for my homestudy. Apparently it needed to be three sentences, not two. My doctor failed to mention my bleeding disorder was monitored and wouldn't interfere with my adoption. I have Type I Von Willebrand's disease, which means I have low levels of Factor VIII. Basically, my blood doesn't clot as fast as it should. It is under control and I haven't had a problem in over 6 years. I reminded my doctor to put it in the letter and missed the fact that he didn't- should have read those 2 sentences more carefully. I don't know who I am more frustrated with, my doctor or the homestudy agency.

The only reason I found out they needed this was because I emailed them to make sure they received my corrections to the HS draft. They received them and oh, by the way, we need a doctor's letter about your bleeding disorder. This would have been nice to know 2 weeks ago when I received the draft and when I had a week off from school. Could have got that taken care of when I had spare time. GRRRR! I called my doctor's office today and got the run around from his nurse about needing to be seen again. Uh, do you remember that FULL physical I got on October 4th? Does that not count for anything????? "Oh, you saw him? When he wrote the first letter, he said he would do it but in the future wouldn't do things like this without seeing you first." OH MY HEAD- even the doctor seems to forgot the visit the day before he wrote the freakin' letter. I asked him to write it as I sat right in front of him. I almost brought in a letter for him to just sign, but thought he could handle it. Maybe it's time to find a smaller practice.

I am still waiting for my adoption agency to look over the draft, but was reminded on Ed and Jenna's blog that they have a Hague accreditation visit this week. That is understandable. I am also waiting on the new FBI clearance letter. That frustrates me but at least I know I have taken care of getting re-fingerprinted. The missing doctor's note really irked me- I JUST WANT MY HOMESTUDY TO BE FINISHED. Is that too much to ask?

Okay, I feel better now that I have vented. Happy Halloween!

My Moments of Weakness

I had several moments of weakness during my week off of school. Moments of weakness with money (and food, but I won't go into that)! It's so easy to spend money (and eat out) when you have extra time on your hands! Here is my favorite "moment of weakness" buy:
I mean, really, who could resist bidding on these robeez on ebay? I got them today and they look brand new. I got them about $12 cheaper than if I had bought them on the Robeez website. So, in reality, I got a good deal and they will eventually be worn by some of the cutest little feet in the world!

Livin' Large

It was a big weekend-my parents, Kelly and I took Grace, Max, Sam and Chloe to Chuck E Cheese on Thursday night. We celebrated Chloe's 8th birthday a few days early. Grace was in her element, dancing the night away. We all had a good time!
I had mentioned Sam's pitching arm in an earlier post. He used his skills in skee-ball. It didn't work as well as he would have liked!











Max had a good time too until he couldn't figure out how to get down from the tunnels. We nominated Kelly to get him. Of course as soon as he came down the slide he was ready to go up again!



The girls came back to my house and had a slumber party. Grace told me it was the "greatest night of her life!" We had a good time and everyone slept well. No fights over the bedroom. Grace got to sleep on the new aero bed in my room. She thought it was great that she would still have a bed at my house after the baby came home!
The next morning we all went to Target. Kelly conivnced me (it wasn't too hard) to register since my birthday and Christmas were right around the corner. We will go to Babies R Us later and do even more registering. It's back to work tomorrow, probably a good thing seeing that I seem to spend a lot of money when I am on break!

What a Difference a Day Makes

I was pretty down yesterday. Gossip and nasty rumors were flying around the internet about Vietnam adoption. I was sad for the families from my agency that were cancelling travel plans in the midst of the I-600 filing changes. It is amazing the connections you form with people you have only "met" online. Being part of an agency makes the adoption more real- the ups and the downs. I looked outside last night and saw an amazing sky at sunset. It made me forget all of the craziness for a few minutes.
So, the sun wasn't shining when I woke up, but it was a great day. I got to hang out and play with Tracy, Noah and Zoe. One look at Zoe and I am reminded that the adoption ups and downs are worth it! I also got the news that the families in the November 3rd and 10th travel groups from my agency were going to be able to go to Vietnam and unite with their babies (the US embassy will be doing this on a case by case basis, but I am hoping for the best)! To top it all off, I did about 4 hours of uninterrupted scrapbooking and am finally up to 2005 (I was more behind than I thought).

I have vowed to stay away from some of the list serves for a while and focus on the positive- like another agency referral this week! I hope to have some good news about my homestudy in the next week or two. Hopefully the FBI will process my fingerprints without anymore problems!

Denied

Actually, the letter said rejected- the FBI rejected my fingerprints. So I spent the first day of my fall break driving downtown to get not one, but two sets of fingerprints redone. It seems my fingerprints are hard to capture. I had tried to save time by going to my local police department, but probably should have gone downtown in the first place. Since I was downtown, I thought a little retail therapy was in order. I had to go check out the Ju Ju Be diaper bags at Nordstrom's. Heather had mentioned these on her blog and now I understand the overwhelming desire to own this Cadillac of diaper bags! They are wonderful! I can't afford one now, but have been checking eBay to see if any I like come up at a decent price.

On to some sad, extremely heartbreaking adoption news. It seems the US government has decided that, as of October 29th (thanks for the advance notice), all I-600 forms must be filed in the US, not Vietnam. People who were supposed to travel next week have now "lost" their travel dates until the I-600 can be processed by the USCIS. They are saying this will take up to 2 months. I feel horrible for the families with my agency who are going through this awful nightmare. I hope that something can be done to speed up the process. It was originally thought this change would happen on January 1st. In the future this means longer waits between referral and travel....agonizing days waiting to unite with a child you know belongs at home with his or her family. My thoughts and prayers are with those having to re-file their I-600.

3 Months

It's been 3 months since I started my journey through adoption. I received a draft of my home study earlier this week and will hopefully get the final draft next week. I can't believe I will have my fingerprinting appointment in the next month or so. Things keep moving along! My agency had one referral this week. I had been waiting to hear referral news. Right before I applied to the agency they had lots of referrals so I know they won't have a lot for a while. It's exciting to hear other's referral news, gives me hope that my day will come!

I have all next week off for fall break. I don't really like having a week off this early in the year, but am going to enjoy it! Next year we go back to the short fall break which is a good thing because then we will get out of school in May. I am going to take advantage of my time off and start to collect a few things for my dossier. I am going to have faith that the USCIS doesn't take more than a month or two to send my I-171H! Keep your fingers crossed- I would love to be DTV by late December or early January!

I am off to earn a few adoption $$ by working the sectional volleyball game. Go Royals!

My First Baby Purchases

At the end of September my friend Amy (pictured in the Disney post), her mom and I went to a huge children's sale at a nearby middle school. Tons of gently used clothes and toys for great prices! I got some toys that looked almost brand new, several pairs of overalls and lots of sleepers (some with the tags still on) for under $50.


Earlier this week I made my first official purchase online for baby- a baby memory book. I loved this particular book because it has inserts for international adoption and for single moms. It is made by Tessera Publishing. After stalking down the DHL man (he claims he couldn't find my house) and several not-so-nice emails to DHL, I finally got it today. Some kind DHL worker had taped mapquest directions to my house for the directionally impaired delivery guy. It was worth the extra wait. I can't wait to start filling it out!

Mommy Blogs

Two posts in one day, I know, I am going a little blog crazy! But I wanted to have a positive post to go along with my not so positive post. I caught a segment on the evening news last night about Mommy blogs and how popular they are becoming. The mom featured gets over 20,000 hits a day on her blog. She makes money each month from companies that advertise on her blog. It really is a great blog and was started after she auctioned some Pokemon cards on eBay- her description/reason for selling was hilarious!

I don't think my blog will ever get 20,000 hits a day. I am impressed that I have had almost 800 hits in one month. But I do know that I love coming home each night and checking in on all of my favorite blogs- it is a great way to destress after a rough day at school. As you can see, my list to the right keeps growing and growing. All are related to adoption (many are families from my agency) and all have given me insight, hope and inspiration. Keep it coming all of you adoption bloggers!

Scary times in Vietnam

I always try to remain optimistic about my upcoming adoption, but it's been a scary week in the Vietnam adoption world. I can't not post about this issue. An agency(not mine) had three families leave Vietnam without their children because INS issued (or is going to issue) NOIDs. Those of us in the adoption world know about the dreaded NOID: Notice Of Intent to Deny from the U.S. Embassy in Hanoi. For those unfamiliar with this issue, read the post on Voices for Vietnam Adoption Integrity.

There is so much to consider when choosing an agency. I made up my mind to adopt from Vietnam in about two days. It took me two months to decide on an agency. It was the biggest and scariest decision I have ever made in my life. Just because an agency is licensed in Vietnam doesn't mean they are ethical. When NOIDs are issued, children are the victims. The families who trusted their agencies to provide an ethical adoption are also the victims. These families were just as excited as I am about bringing my baby home. Now they are leaving Vietnam without their child...

My heart breaks for these families. Scary times in Vietnam, yes. But this could also be titled heartache in Vietnam.

All My Children Part II

Grace, Sam and Max (left to right) are more of the wonderful children that are part of my life. I have known their mom, Molly for over 30 years. Our families go way back: my mom and Molly's mom became friends in the 7th grade and our dad's went to college and med school together. In fact, Molly's parents are the reason my parents met! Their family (which also includes dad Ryan) are great friends who are really part of my extended family. As Molly beautifully put it in her reference letter for my HS, they are my chosen family. I haven't gotten through the whole letter yet because I was reading it at school and kept getting emotional. There will be another addition to the family this spring! Here is a picture of the whole family (minus my dad who had to work) at the 2nd birthday party of Max and Sam.



Grace is 4 1/2 and full of wisdom and advice. We love to have sleepovers at my house- just us girls! When I told her about adopting a baby and tried to explain adoption, Grace decided I should adopt a boy so I could marry him. When I was talking to Molly about the adoption, she had to relay the info to Ryan in another room. She ran in at one point and asked if it was a real baby. I can only imagine the information she was giving her dad!





As his shirt says, Sam is definitely a ladies man. He always has a smile on his face and is quite charming. Sam has a great throwing arm and will pitch a fast ball that impresses anyone he throws to!







Max is always on the move. It is hard to get a good picture of him because he is constantly in motion! He is quite the talker and has recently started saying my name. I think this is because he has an elephant blanket he calls Ellie. So Kelli usually sounds like Ellie!





Grace, Max and Sam bring such joy to my life, I can't even put it into words. I am so blessed!

A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned

I have been trying to earn/save extra money for the adoption and this was a whirlwind week. I proctored the SAT, worked 2 football games & 2 soccer games, chaperoned the homecoming dance and tutored a student for 2 hours. I would much rather do this than find a part-time job. At least I am working with people I know and the school is close to home. I also enjoy seeing students outside of school and know I won't get to do this as much when I am a single mom!

I learn something new everyday

I have been so focused on boy versus girl, that I thought I would share one thing I learned today. As a high school teacher, I have witnessed and broken up my share of fights. Today was my first experience breaking up two girls in a physical fight. Girls' fighting are just as intense as boys' fighting. Girls fight hard. They are relentless. They do not stop when a teacher intervenes (I have the broken fingernails to prove it). So, I guess those that emailed me are right: girls and boys are both a joy and both can be a "challenge"!

Disney Day!

It's homecoming week at school and today was Disney day. I love Disney World and dream of the day I can take my child! Dressing up was easy for me- I got to pull out my Disney jeans that Kelly gave me for my birthday last year. Of course the kids are wound up this week, but only 6 more school days until fall break!

On the adoption front, I mailed off my physical and local police clearance to the HS agency today. I waited an extra 3 days for a letter from my doctor because I take medication. I went and picked up the letter today- if you can call it that. My "letter" was 2 sentences long. Hope it is what is needed! So now I wait some more....keeping my fingers crossed that my HS is done soon and that I get a speedy fingerprinting appointment!

All My Children Part I

I have many children who are special to me. The first in Chloe and her brother Collin. Their mom and my dearest friend, Kelly was my supervising teacher when I did my student teaching (gulp) 11 years ago. Collin was 3 then- he will be driving soon! Chloe came along a few years later. I was at the hospital when Chloe was born and I have been her "other Kelli" ever since! They have become part of our family, celebrating all of the holidays with us.

This weekend we broke the news to Chloe that her bedroom at my house would be the baby's bedroom. Grace (who I will talk about in another post also considers this her bedroom). I will keep her Hello Kitty poster, but will move it to the room in the basement that will be her new room (it is a finished basement and she will have her own TV in there). She's moving on up...or down, depending on how you look at it! Chloe has also offered baby names to me- Sophie being her number one choice! Kelly explained to her that baby Aiden (or Aaden, I haven't decided) will probably come home before my baby girl. She seems okay with that!

Chloe, always striking a pose!

Follow Your Heart

Thanks to all you gave me advice and insight over the last couple of days. I am so lucky to have found an agency with such wonderful adopting families who are willing to give advice and support! The common theme in all of the emails was simply "follow your heart". I really thought that requesting a girl was what my heart was telling me to do. After thinking about it, I realized I was following my heart when I marked "either" on my application. I know that being open to either gender usually means the referral will be a boy and I am totally okay with that. If I were pregnant I would not have a choice and the bottom line is, I just want to be a mom!

Hurry up, wait....and wonder

I had my home visit yesterday (all went well) and my physical today. Now I am waiting for my local police clearance and my blood work to come back. The HS agency will start my HS on Monday and a draft should be ready in 4 weeks. More waiting....I know it only gets worse from here!

I also wonder- yesterday my social worker commented that she "sees" me with a girl and that I would do great with a girl. Deep down, I think I want a girl, but don't want to rule out a beautiful baby boy. I know I want more than one child, but can't stop wondering if I should email my agency and change my application to request a girl. I guess I have a few weeks to ponder (a better word would be obsess) over this thought. What's a girl to do?

The hardest part of the adoption process so far.....

...has to be getting my cat's shots current for my homestudy. Tess HATES the car and hates getting in her carrier. In the past, she has been fine once we get to the vet. Today, she was not so fine. She didn't like getting poked and prodded and had to be held down for her shots. Thank goodness the vaccines are all good for 3 years. I couldn't take the torture every year and I don't think she could either. I can only imagine how she will react when I bring a baby home that stays more than one or two days! Poor kitty!