Thankful and Lucky

Sometimes I have to remind myself of the special people I have in my life and the memories I have made during this agonizing wait. Some of these things have just happened in the past week. I am thankful that I was able to....

...spend 2 of the past 5 days with AP buddies that I met early on in the adoption process. I've said it before, but it's so nice to sit and talk with someone who "gets it". On Saturday I went to Tracy's house and I got to meet little Colin. He is just as cute (if not more) in person! Today I went to another friend's house. She (and her family) are all anxiously awaiting I600 approval to go bring home their almost 7 year old son.

...find a friend/walking buddy who is also an AP. Dana adopted from Russia about 7 years ago, but knows exactly what the waiting is like. We started walking together in May. The past 2 weeks we have been walking anywhere from 14-16 miles a week so there is plenty of time to chat. It's a good way to work off some anxiety and frustration and hopefully some pounds!

...spend last night with Grace, Max, Sam and Lucy, part of my chosen family. I always have fun with them. It gave me goosebumps to hear Grace tell my friend Dana, "Kelli is my aunt and I have my own bedroom at her house until the baby comes." Have no fear, Grace has already claimed ownership of the aero*bed! And, there is nothing better than cuddling with Sam and Max as they fall asleep on Grace's aero*bed...except....cuddling with Grace before she goes to bed and playing with Lucy, watching her smile and hearing her laugh.

Of course I have many other friends and family helping me through this wait (including many great blogging friends)!

I am thankful and lucky....

Tagged: Six words about me

I've been tagged by Tracy. I need to list six words that describe me. Well, since it's another Manic Monday, I am sitting here with knots in my stomach. I told Tracy I was going to have to cut down the following: nearly psychotic PAP, on the verge of a nervous breakdown, about to lose her mind if she doesn’t hear news soon. I think this sums it up nicely:

Anxiety ridden, hoping for good news.

I'm tagging Lina, Julie, Melissa, Erica and Heather

The Golden Ticket

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You're Nine Months Pregnant!

At least that is what Pam*pers thinks. This was the email that I got a few days ago:

Hello Kelli,
It's getting close! Both your excitement and your anxiety are probably building. All parents experience uncertainty, even if they've been through childbirth before. Share your worries with your partner; he probably has the same concerns. And bring them up at your pediatric prenatal visit. Your baby-to-be's provider will give you some of the support you need.

They've got one thing right- my anxiety and excitement are building. But I should share my worries with my partner? Hey, if Pam*pers can find me a partner, I'll take him! That would be a lot easier than e harmony or match dot com.

A few months ago I signed up for all the free samples and coupons. You know, formula, American Baby Magazine, baby food and diapers. So now I get emails titled, "You're 9 months pregnant", "Your baby at 37 weeks", etc.. Apparently I signed up for free pampers coupons twice- I am currently 9 months pregnant AND 7 months pregnant. Obviously I just picked random due dates!

I wish there was a choice for adoptive mothers, but sadly there isn't. I think we all remember the "non-mom" debacle in the Favorite Mom contest this past May. I could go on and on about this, but really, there's not enough time in the day! And, I am not really bitter about it. How could I be when I get $8 formula coupons? And diapers- it doesn't matter that they are newborn size, they come with coupons (although is does make me a little sad that my little prince's toosh won't wear this size).

And the best freebie so far? Two cans of formula. Who cares if I won't need both soy and regular- they were free! Thank goodness they don't expire for several more years.So, as I wait for my little prince, I will continue scouring the internet for freebies and coupons. It's got to be better than scouring adoption yahoo groups and hitting refresh on my inbox 30 times a day.

Manic Monday

Every Monday, and I mean every Monday, I get anxious about the week ahead. Sometimes it is anxiety along with excitement. Sometimes it is anxiety coupled with nervousness. Could this be the week for news? Will I have to wait one more week? Will anyone get good news this week to tide me over until my good news?

Today it is anxiety and nervousness. I am not sure why. Maybe it is the heavy heart I have for all those who were recently told they would not have a referral by September 1st. Maybe it's because I haven't heard from my consultant for over a week. Maybe it's the fact that the da*n ticker at the top of my blog started over because it's been 1 year and 1 day since I seriously began pursuing adoption from Vietnam. Then there is all of the talk about the state of adoptions in Vietnam. It's a lot to take in and my thoughts have been evolving/changing as of late. Again, I am not giving up, not by any means. Just documenting all of the crazy feelings I have been feeling. Just another manic Monday....

Favorite Photo..um..Shots on a Sunday

Favorite Photo Friday came and went. I was out painting the town red. Since when did 3 drinks send me straight to bed? Favorite Photo Friday on a Saturday didn't happen either. I did start the day with a 6 mile walk to sweat out the drinks I had on Friday. So now it's Sunday. I am having a lazy Sunday afternoon. The perfect time to post some recent pics of some of my favorite kids.

Sam and Max turned 3 last week. Again, I ask you, where did the time go????

Their sisters are growing fast too. Grace will start kindergarten in a few weeks.

And finally, some gratuitous Lucy cuteness!

Say it isn't so!

Three weeks from today is the first teacher work day for the 2008-2009 school year. The kids start on the 11th. I will be back at work. Did I ever really leave work? Not really, if you count the 2 sessions of summer school and my whole due process fiasco. I did get one week off between the 2 sessions and I will have 8 days off before school starts. It doesn't help that we got out late this year- we went a whole week into June. Oh well, this school year we will get out before Memorial Day- just in time for what I hope is my first summer as a mom. And I did make some serious cash that will come in handy over the next few months! I never imagined starting another school year without my referral. I guess there is still time for that to happen. Perhaps I should make it clear to my principal that I will be leaving my cell phone on during the school day....

Did you hear the fat lady sing?

Nope, me neither. Click here to read more

How did this happen???

My Godchildren came to visit this weekend. Every time I see them they seem WAY bigger than they did the last time. Christian, the oldest just turned 13. Yikes! I remember driving down to the southern part of the state when he was born. Jordan is 11 and Devon is 10. It seems like yesterday we were celebrating their births. Where did the time go??? I can't believe I am old enough to be a Godmother to a teenager and 2 pre-teens! Christian and Devon had a swim meet in town but we got to spend some quality time together in the heat and humidity. Here are some pictures from last night at On the Border.

I also got to meet my friend Amy's little one Hayden, who was born on Friday. He is extremely cute and very laid back!

Favorite Photo Friday

I was hoping to have some fun pool pictures to share, but our pool get-together didn't happen and I couldn't be more thrilled. I am so happy and excited for Christian, Tracy, Noah and Zoe! If you haven't heard the great news, go check it out!

So, onto pictures. Just a few more from Chicago. Julie asked if I got a new camera. No and I actually took my little Sony point and shoot. They turned out pretty good. And to answer Jess' question- I didn't get to go to a Vietnamese restaurant :(, but there was a VN restaurant at Taste of Chicago that was pretty good. Next time....

Navy Pier

Those that have strolled the Magnificent Mile know there is always some sort of art on display. This year the art was Project Runway-ish dresses. These were my favorite three.

Adoption Gone Wrong*

* I would like to dedicate this post to Heather and Erica

So, I saw it with my own two eyes. Heard it with my own two ears. Adoption gone wrong. Many of you saw the Primetime: The Outsiders episode that involved people "adopting" capuchin monkeys. Today I was at the gym, sweating on the elliptical, rockin' out to a little Flo Rida, when the guy next to me taps me on the arm, points out the window and says, "what the f*** is that?" Oh my, it's a lady carrying a capuchin monkey and she is headed towards the gym. In she comes with her little monkey, sporting a pair of shorts (and diaper) and a wife beater, all ready to work out- the monkey, not the woman. The woman seems to be checking out the gym, perhaps interested in joining. Of course she attracts a small crowd, all interested in the monkey. I was still working out so I watched from a distance.

When I watched The Outsiders I learned that all monkeys eventually "go bad". For those who think otherwise, let me tell you, this was one misbehavin' monkey. (S)he would not have anything to do with being held by "Mommy". Jumping on the treadmills, climbing all over them, eventually climbing on top of the vending machine. This happened at least 3 times (note to self- don't use those two treadmills for a while). Obviously, (s)he did not have his/her listening ears on. Even as they were leaving, the darn monkey jumped out of "Mommy's" arms- in the middle of a busy parking lot, for crying out loud! As the woman was pulling out (in her nice little Mercedes), the monkey was grabbing the steering wheel and the visor. I was glad I was safely inside the gym.

As I was lifting weights I heard the manager telling one of the trainers about the monkey...how it was the woman's (and her husband's) "little baby". Ugh. I hope they made it clear to the woman that her "little baby" would NOT be allowed in the childcare room.

So, Heather, you no longer have to worry about saving me from the loony bin where I thought I would be sewing clothes for my little monkey if something went wrong with my adoption. Besides the fact that I am not giving up on Vietnam (it's just gotta happen), I will not be adopting a monkey. NOT.GONNA.HAPPEN.

The One With All The Dreams

I have been having a lot of dreams lately...vivid dreams. First there was the one where my son was crying and I couldn't get to him. Last Wednesday and Thursday I had a dream that I was in Vietnam with my agency's facilitator. I had a picture of my son and was in an orphanage waiting to pick him up. There facilitator said, "here is your son" and handed me a picture. I kept telling him I already had a picture and I was here to take him home. He kept insisting that all I could have was the picture because he was special and it was going to take extra time. I would have to wait.

On Monday night I had a dream about my referral. I had a picture of a little girl. I was thrilled but confused. Then I got the paperwork and she was actually 4 years old and there were no recent pictures. I walked over to my agency (must have been a long walk) and confronted the director. I told him I was waiting for my son. I said I would happily accept the little girl, but I needed the referral for my son. There was arguing and harsh words exchanged- I remember him yelling at me and telling me I was ruining some surprise and it wasn't fair. I'm telling you, these dreams are crazy and vivid! Anyway, he got on the computer, made a phone call and when I left, I walked out with pictures of my son and my daughter. If only it were as easy as showing up at the agency and demanding a referral!

No new dreams last night. I think I was exhausted from starting summer school (and I took a 6 mile walk- gotta work off that deep dish pizza). Tonight I will probably be exhausted from trying to get my last paper done-er-started for my class. I hope my hard work will be rewarded with another baby dream....

Sweet Home, Chicago

I am back from 4 days of great entertainment, great food, great friendship and GREAT shopping! I love Chicago and we had a great time. The train ride was an experience. So slow, but I had a chance to nap, watch movies and enjoy the view. We checked into The James Hotel on Wednesday. It was wonderful and I would highly recommend it.

Each night, the hotel had turn down service- robes, slippers, cookies, the works! After a few hours of shopping we went to dinner and on to see Jersey Boys. It was a fast-paced, entertaining show. Julie and I decided our parents did a good job of exposing us to Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons music because we knew almost all of the songs! On Thursday, after more shopping, we headed down to Taste of Chicago. Great food but crazy busy by about 7:00. I had never seen that many people in one place before. We learned that Chicago celebrates the 4th on the 3rd so after a boat tour and more food, we staked out a piece of grass and watched the fireworks. It was probably the best fireworks show I have seen in a while.
We spent most of Friday and Saturday shopping (shocking, I know). We headed down to State Street to go to the big Macy's (7 floors of shopping heaven) and to get some Garrett popcorn- if it's one of Oprah's favorite things, it's one of my favorite things!We did go to Navy Pier on the 4th, but didn't see the fireworks. We had to wait 2 hours to be seated at Bubba Gump's. Oh well, the food was good and we had our fill of fireworks the night before. While we waited for our table, we discovered some awesome slushie's....that included 2 shots of flavored vodka. Julie and I both had blue raspberry. They rocked and brought on a new meaning to a favorite childhood treat!

Lots of fun memories were made on our 2008 trip to Chicago. I got home around 1:30 am this morning so I am a bit tired. Have to rest up because it's back to reality tomorrow. I start my second stint of summer school- high school this time. Let the good times roll.

All Aboard!

I'm leaving, and not on a jet plane. I am taking Amtrak up to Chicago. Should be an experience, especially since I have to be at the train station by 6 am tomorrow morning- ugh! It will be worth it. My train ticket was $42. I will save about $100 in parking and lord knows how much in gas. So yes, I am taking a trip to Chicago and couldn't be more excited!

Last year my friend Julie and I went to Chicago in April to celebrate my sister's life and birthday. April didn't work out this year so we postponed until summer. Julie grew up behind me (or did I grow up behind her?) in our hometown of Gaylord. She is a year younger than me and was a year older than my sister so we spent a lot of time together growing up- 18 years of great memories!

Last year we went to see Wicked. This year we are going to see Jersey Boys. It is also Taste of Chicago so I will be jumping off the WW wagon yet again to enjoy it. There will be a Vietnamese restaurant there so I am excited about that. I think we will enjoy the 4th down at Navy Pier. We will shop till we drop, eat to our hearts' content and just enjoy our time together.

It will be so nice to get away from everything for a while. The aftermath of last week's conference has consumed a lot of my time in the past few days and I had 3 hours of interviews again yesterday (thank goodness we found a good candidate). I even contemplated not taking my laptop.....BWAHAHAHA....that's the funniest frickin' thing I have heard in a while. Seriously, it has become another appendage on my body. And what if, just what if, there is actually news to be heard on Wednesday or Thursday before the holiday?

So, happy 4th of July to all of you, a few days early!