{89/365}

Today we finished our Biggest Loser competition at school.  I was not the biggest loser...but I did come in second.  I was shocked- it was tough competition. There were 5 of us in pretty close running the entire 12 weeks.  I ended up losing 23 pounds during the competition (I think it went about 13 1/2 weeks with snow days and such).  My grand total since December is 27 pounds.  I am not done; have about 14 more pounds to get to my goal weight.  But I have never been this close to my goal weight.  I may finally become an actual lifetime member of weight watchers!

I am proud of how far I have come.  However, it has been kind of hard to see the results.  I think years of low self esteem and issues with weight just make it hard to see who's actually staring back at me in the mirror.  I know I couldn't wear my official weigh in pants today because they simply wouldn't stay up.  I know my clothes are big. I can now see my collar bone and actually found my rib cage! and I have been working out hard. I just wouldn't let myself see who I had become.  It's hard to explain....But tonight I had my dad take a picture of Aiden and me- an "after" picture if you will.  And I am starting to see that this is the old me:

And this is the new Kelli, 27 pounds lighter (with her goofball son!):

I could blame the weight gain on the adoption stress/wait and being a new mom.  I suppose that stress played a part.  But it was more than that.  You see, my unhealthy relationship with food goes back a good 20+ years. Some of you may know the details, but those are something I don't really want or need to get into right now....because, I truly feel like they don't matter anymore.

Tonight, for the first time, I can say with confidence (for possibly the first time in many, many years), that I will never go back to the old me.  My relationship with food has changed.  It is no longer my best friend (or my worst enemy).  I won't go back to eating when I'm stressed, bored or depressed. That's no longer who I want to be.  It's no longer who I am. I had a bit of an emotional break down (or break through?) tonight realizing that I have said good bye to the old me...for good. 

{87.88/365}

{88}It's not always fun and games around here. Aiden would never stay in time out unless it was in his room, in the crib.  I didn't really want to send him to his room as a consequence.  I mean, he hates being in there at night so I don't want to make it a negative place all of the time.  My hope is he'll sleep in there.  So we tried the naughty step.  Fail.  He enjoyed it and never stayed so time outs went on forever.  The only way time out seems to be effective for Aiden is if I tell him to face the corner or put his nose in the corner.  He sobs the whole 3 minutes, but stays the whole 3 minutes and always apologizes.  Luckily we don't have to do this too often (most days...). This picture kind of breaks my heart.

{89} A little movie time before bed...

{86/365} Do Over

Last week I tried to take some pictures of Aiden in an outfit he got for Christmas.  Of course the one picture I loved the most was blurry.  Figures.

We did a do over yesterday.  Aiden was less than cooperative but I got some pretty cute ones (I haven't done any editing yet)...crazy hair and all!

{85/365} The Boys

On Saturday we went to see Erica and Duc!  That morning Aiden told me Duc is his "favorite friend".  He was even upset we had to go to Gymb0ree before we saw Duc.  These boys are the best of friends but they can also fight like champions over a coveted toy.

On the way home, Aiden was yelling at Duc in his sleep.  It cracked me up!  When we got home Aiden told me he had lots of fun and said, "Duc has a lot of fun toys." 

Love these sweet feet!

{80.81.82.83.84/365} 4 out of 5 ain't bad

Not sure why I'm having so much trouble keeping up with blogging.  There just never seems to be time.  This year's project has been a lot harder than last year!  I suppose I am working out more and cooking more (as opposed to eating frozen meals, frozen pizza and other junk).  Those two activities do take up more of my time in the evening.  Maybe I'll try to post everyday this week.  Of course I need to pack and get ready for our vacation.  So ready for spring break!!

{81} A new garbage truck

{82} Spring has sprung

{83} A new haircut and a new balloon

{84} Funny face (he told me the 2nd face is his angry face)

{85}::::::FAIL- no clue why I didn't take a picture:::::::::

I'm having major issues including pictures.  I add them and then the disappear.  When they reappear, they are all distorted.  That's what I get for waiting so long to post!

{79/365} What's Adopted?

Aiden and I talk about how he was born in Vietnam and how we became a family.  I honestly can't remember if I've always used the actual word adopted all of the time or not.  A couple of months ago (yes, I meant to blog about this sooner but time flies), we were in the car talking about it and I said I went to Ca Mau on an airplane to meet Aiden and then adopted him the next day.  I told him that's when we became a family. 

Aiden got quiet in the back seat and then said, "what's adopted?" In very general terms I told him that Vietnam chose me to be his mommy and when I adopted him we became a family.  I will tell you right now that I cringed and got tears in my eyes when he responded with an answer no adoptive parent wants to hear, "Oh thank you mommy.  Thank you for adopting me."  Granted....he's two.  I really don't have anything else to attribute that to. When I regained composure I told Aiden that he never has to thank me for adopting him.  I said I wanted to be a mommy and I was so happy Vietnam let me become a mommy.  I also mentioned his Vietnam mommy and told him I think of her a lot.

I don't know how much Aiden fully comprehends his adoption. Honestly, he has a better grasp on it than I thought he would at this age.  Every now and then, he will bring up Mommy flying to Vietnam with Gram. He says when I went to get him he ran up to me, said "hi, Mommy", I picked him up and Gram and Mommy were so happy. He then says we flew home on an airplane and saw Papa at the airport and everyone said "hooray!"

I know his thoughts and feelings will change about adoption.  And while I may never have all of the answers, I hope he always feel comfortable talking to me about it.  I am almost finished with the first version of his life book (We will make another one together when he is older).  I went with a template I found from My Story Lifebooks.  I actually contacted K when she posted on FB asking for help with creating a Vietnam template.  The pages are great and you can add and delete text (or pages for that matter) and also add all of the pictures you want.  I know Aiden will love reading it...as soon as I finish it up!

{77.78/365}

Sometimes, Aiden dances to the beat of his very own drum.  Or maybe it's just not my drum and that can be hard.  I most certainly want him to be his own person but I also get a little sad the more independent he gets.  They grow up so fast. It's the little things....little things that make me realize he is quickly growing up.  He can paint without making a huge mess. Of course wants all of the colors to paint with but has to mix them.  This is a toughie for me.  I don't like the colors mixing!  And it's not just paint.  The play doh. Oh the play doh mixing. I just have heart palpitations grin and bear it.

 Aiden has been able to dress himself for a while (although he often prefers help).  But when he wants to do something?  Like go to the playground?  He will run upstairs, pick out some clothes and quickly get dressed.  He's getting to be such a big boy.  Of course, he doesn't always care if what he picks matches or if the pants are on backwards...makes me smile.  Yesterday he insisted on wearing the hood up on his almost too small sweatshirt. 

 He also insisted on the rain boots....

{74.75.76/365} Firsts

 Our first play gym in several weeks (we are finally both healthy)!

 Aiden's first trip to the dentist.  No cavities!  And that fever that mysteriously popped up this past week (after Aiden got the all clear at the doctor)?  His last two year molar is coming through.  That also explains the runny nose and sleepless nights!

 Our first trip of the year to the "train" park! The 73 degrees made it even better.

{71.72.73/365} The Best Laid Plans

 I really thought I had a grand plan for daylight savings.  We slept in a bit and I thought if we stayed busy, Aiden might skip a nap.  So we went to the park to run, jump and play off some steam.  We were there a good hour. And then ran a couple of errands.  By this time it was 3:00....

 And by 3:15, after being home for 5 minutes....The best laid plans...

 I've also had plans to blog before now.  And I have a few posts swirling around in my head that I really want to get written down. But our nights just fly by.  We usually get home between 4:30 and 5.  Dinner, my workout, baths, getting lunches ready, a little play time and cuddling while watching a show...well, there is just not much time left for blogging. Again, the best laid plans...

But we have plans to celebrate my dad's birthday.  Aiden wouldn't miss a celebration for anything, especially for his beloved Papa.  Happy birthday, Papa!  We love you!